Having spent so much time with small people I often like to imagine what sort of place the world would be if we all adopted their values and behaviours…..

Election Results Day

Davey, Ed and Nick-Nick are all up at a ridiculously early hour today. All the mums and dads have said anything before 0530 is just unacceptable but the toddlers don’t care, they are having a massive play-date and they just want it to start. NOW.

“Ok, Ed”, says Davey, “let’s play Frozen. I’m Queen Elsa, who do you want to be?” Davey knows Queen Elsa is a girl but he loves the colour blue. It’s his favourite so it’s not fair for anyone else to be Elsa and get to wear blue. (Secretly, Davey is a little miffed that one of the kids at nursery, Nigel, gets to wear purple. Purple is actually his most favourite colour. It’s like Elsa blue mixed with pink. Pink is a cool colour. Bum. Oh well, at least Queen Elsa is the most important leader person in the game anyway.”)

Ed doesn’t reply though. Davey’s not sure whether Ed really wants to be friends. The other day he said they could never, ever, ever be best friends. And he said a bad word. Davey’s mum says we shouldn’t say “Hell” and that Ed was just being boisterous and trying to throw his weight around. Maybe he should be on the naughty step then.

Nick-Nick sidles up to Davey and Ed. “What are you doing?” he asks. No-one answers him. “Can I play?” asks Nick-Nick quietly. “I don’t mind who I am. I can be Anna, or even Sven if you want me to.”

Davey looks at him. “Well that doesn’t make sense. Sven isn’t even a person. You haven’t got antlers, how can you pretend to be a reindeer?” “My mummy will make me some antlers Davey” cries Nick-Nick, “pleeeease can I play? I want to play…”

It looks like the play-date is going to end in tears, as usual.

“Davey doesn’t want to be my best friend any more,” whines Nick-Nick, “it’s not fair.” He goes off in his best sulk, making sure he looks extra downcast in the hope that someone, somewhere, will give him some attention. They don’t.

“Right” says Davey in a loud, annoying voice. “This is my game. I’m going to tell you the rules, so listen.” No-one answers. “I’m going home” says Ed, “my mummy says it’s time for a nap.” Nick-Nick follows him. “Can I come too, Ed?” he asks quietly. Ed ignores him.

Davey starts to stamp his feet and it looks as though a tantrum is just around the corner. “None of my friends will play with me,” he moans, rubbing snot into his eyes. “They all said they want to go home to their mums.”

Well, Davey, his mum says, a knowing look in her eye. You were all up really early. I think we should maybe go for a nap as well as you are playing nicely or sharing with your friends and that’s not nice. Davey looks sad for a minute, then suddenly a smile lights up his face. “Ha,” he says, greedily. “That means I get to play with ALL the toys when everyone’s gone home. I win, ner-ner-ne-ner-nerrrrrr”.


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